Introducing Ruth

I woke up at 5.30am on 3 December to give Ezra his usual middle-of-the-night milk feed. I instantly felt my body was at odds, somehow. I didn't have contractions yet, but I knew I was going to have the baby that day. I took my time to take a shower and prepare Ezra's milk feeds for the rest of the day. Then I hung around until 7am before waking Heng and Ezra up. By then, I was having contractions that was about 5 minutes apart. They didn't last very long and wasn't overtly excruciating.

We decided to leave Ezra with my MIL... hoping my labour will not drag on and she would be able to handle him in the meantime. Thankfully, Clare was around to keep him occupied as well.

We strolled into the hospital at 8am, went to the labour ward and waited while they prepared a bed to examine me; to determine if I was ready for labour. The contractions were still about 5 minutes apart but they were getting increasingly painful. One of the nurses checked me and said I was already 7cm dilated and ready for labour.

By about 9am, the contractions came fast and furious. The 1st wave of pain was bearable and I was still conscious and in control. The next wave was so terrible I am seriously having second thoughts about having another baby. I was probably on the verge of unconsciousness and the voices of the nurses and Heng were far, far away. I was instructed to convert my screamings in to energy for pushing. I tried so hard but the pain was so bad I had to scream. The gas mask didn't help me to concentrate any more. I felt like bearing down every other second. And then came the pains of all pains that drove me to deliriousness. It was this constant techno-like beep sounding in my head with little colored square boxes that looked kind of retro and disco-like... the tempo increased like a raging fire and finally my brains felt like bursting... then came silence... until the next wave of contractions came. Thankfully, I only went through once more of this head-bursting, techno-crazy sounding agony. The active labour part was excruciating. I could feel the head of the baby popping out, the contractions made me want to push so badly but I was instructed to wait lest I tear my perineum badly. The pressure was intense, the pain so sharp. I was holding on to the rails and to Heng's hand so tightly. Thankfully, it didn't go on much longer. But the time I delivered Ruth, I was thoroughly exhausted (though not as exhausted then when I was having Ezra because I was having contractions for a long time, then). It was only 4 hours from the start of the contractions till I delivered... but it felt like a lifetime of pain.

I was thankful for the kind nurses that attended to me this time. I was put in more comfortable positions and they were more encouraging. I remembered the nurse being rather irritated with me for not being able to push well; when I was having Ezra.

I did well this time... and I had a baby girl! I also recovered from the ordeal much quicker as I was already out of bed by that afternoon. The stitches didn't quite hurt as bad and although I ached all over by the 2nd day, I was feeling great.

Ruth is now 3 weeks old. I was struggling with engorgement on the 3rd day and trying to feed her directly from the breast. As much as I would like to feed her directly, it seems that she has taken to the bottle quite well and does not want to suckle me. And in a week, I will be struggling to handle 2 monkeys all by myself, with the pumping, feeding, changing, cleaning, washing... although I knew the tasks at hand and have been trying to prepare myself, but when the time comes closer I become more worried that I may fail in my duties.

I thank God for this new experience and I pray that He will give me strength and wisdom, patience and unconditional love for my children.

Dear Ruth...

I'm sorry for praying that you will be spotted with a protruding genital while having my detailed ultrasound scan yesterday. The gynae said you were a boy and we were going to name you Ezekiel. Papa had a shock as well and had some difficulty coming to terms with the news.

Seriously, I would really love another boy... for practical reasons, but also I had such a strong sense that you would be a boy from the beginning.

But my dear Ruth, I know I will love you so dearly, more than myself. I pray that you will become a sweet little girl like your big brother, Ezra, in appearances and in character... for you are so special to us.

I love you and cannot wait to see you in four months.

Love, mama.

I love Ezra

My sweet Ezra says "good morning" and gives me a kiss. We would laze about in bed for a few minutes before starting the day.

When I ask him if he wants bread, he says "no!". He usually says "uhh" to milk. If he wants more snacks, he would go "more!".

He holds my hand, bring me to the gate and says "kai kai!". He loves to visit the cats at the next block. He likes staring at other kids play.

He whines when he wants to play with my iPhone; he imitates the sound of the cat. When he couldn't get pass the password screen, he screams at me.

At about 8pm, he would grab his "na-na" and say "orh orh". Sometimes he would lie down on the floor and roll about with his bolster. We would bump about in the room until 9.30pm, where he begins to act like a dead fish, flipping about, trying to find a comfortable position to fall alseep. I would whisper "good night, i love you" and he would whisper back. Sometimes, he would shower me with light kisses. He will usually request for me (or papa) to pet him and sing songs. When i stop petting him, he would say "more!", even in his sleep. Ezra loves to snuggle beside papa when he is sleeping.

My dear boy is the sweetest boy ever.

Dear Ezra, mama and papa loves you.

"I'm offically a toddler!"

Time seems to pass so fast... wow... really scary!

My baby is officially not a baby anymore.

He doesn't look like a baby, he's filling up the stroller pretty well, he'll outgrow the car seat very soon, he finally outgrew some clothes and weighs 8.3kg as of 1st March. He walks where he wants to, plays catching and hide-and-seek with me at the void deck, enjoys playing with water and still doesn't really like proper meals. He loves snacks though! He throws some mighty tantrums, says 'no!' and scratches me, laughs heartily when he's happy and screams his lungs out when he's not.

I miss having a baby! Ok, hopefully one more coming soon!

Ezra goes to Tokyo!

This is Ezra's 3rd trip overseas and this time it's our favorite - Japan!

Overall, it was really tiring cos we choose not to bring the stroller and carried him in a carrier or in our arms the whole time. My boy is getting heavier, that's a rather good piece of news! Besides that, I think we handled the cold weather pretty well (in fact, it was hot when I carried him). Ezra was decked out in the cutest outfits (by my standards, hah!).

Bringing kids for travel really feels different from when we were single. Besides the extra baggage (luggage and the baby!), priorities are different as well; I didn't mind forgoing some shopping (which I kinda regret now, hah!). We discussed that future trips will have to be planned around the children more. At this age, Ezra has to follow us wherever we go, but I think he will have his own preferences when he is older. Edna said a very awe-inspiring statement with Wivi asked if she was ok not being able to do things that she wanted and her answer was that her objective is to spend quality time with her kids. Well, in my case, it will be a time to spend quality time with the family.

Since we traveled in a large group, there were so much waiting, something i definitely don't mind missing out on! I am sure we could have done lots more without all the waiting; go where we want to, eat what we want and splurge if we wanted to, but I did enjoy their company anyhow. Overall, I am thankful for this partially sponsored trip cos we saved more than $2k for the transport and accommodation expenses. As usual, our money disappeared and i really didn't think we bought or spent much on food. As least we didn't bust hundreds on a single meal!

Anyway, here's the *almost* complete photo album :)

Can't wait to go to Japan again, and this time, other fabulous parts of Japan!

A week shy of 15 months...

The last 2 months passed in a whirlwind.

Ezra started to walk without help at about 13.5 months, in a very wobbly fashion. Within about 3 weeks or so, he could walk rather steadily. The books said that 1.35 months was the average and boys usually start slower than girls, but a few people I have talked to so far said Ezra was very advanced! My little genius!

He also started off with a few words like 'Ball', 'Star' (besides Mama and Papa) 'Car' and 'Bye Bye'. He could also say 'Fish' but not so well, at least he could recognize it when asked. As of today, he has added 'Yes', 'No', 'Bear', 'Door', 'Bag', 'Milk' (cow's milk in a cup or pack), 'Nai Nai' (his bottled milk), 'Gai gai', 'Flower' (his 1st 2 syllable word on 7 Jan!), 'Bow' (for rainbow, on 8 Jan), 'Man-man' (for Ultraman) to his vocabulary. I think that's alot of words for a 15 month old! There are other words that he blurted out just after hearing us ask him to say it once. He briefly said 'Please' and refused to say it again subsequently.

I realised he actually knew the meaning of the words, he knew that different looking cars are still cars. When I asked 'Do you want nai-nai?"; he would actually nod his head to say yes.

We gathered that Christmas is his favorite time of the year because there were balls and stars all over the place! He went crazy saying "Ball! Star!" when we went down Orchard Road one weekend.

It is his little actions that melts people's hearts. He would sometimes tilt his head and look at a stranger innocently and would usually say 'Bye Bye' to people around him. When Papa is resting, he would sometimes snuggle up to him and give him hugs and kisses. He would run up to us and call "Papa" or "Mama" in an unresistable tone, hug our legs and asked to be carried. How can anyone refuse that?

Oh, my little one is so cute! I love him so much... and so does everyone around him!

Ezra is ONE!

Throughout the day, I was recollecting what I experienced a year ago. It seemed like it all happened yesterday. Time really, really flies. My baby is one!!!

I've always wanted to have kids, but nothing I could do would prepare me for this. Every day is a new experience of joy and laughter and sometimes frustration. 

A new phase as began. A phase of exciting (yet scary) time of learning and growth. Ezra learns very quickly, when he wants to. He likes to mimic others. It took him a few seconds to learn to 'blow' (a candle), although not much air comes out, hah! He quickly learned to peek through the hole in his toy but takes ages to learn that he is not supposed to touch the fan - oh, my stubborn boy!

I pray that God will help us raise Ezra to be an obedient and God-fearing child. I pray that God will give me discipline, wisdom, patience and lots of love for my family. I pray that God will keep everyone safe and healthy so we can serve him for many days to come. Amen.